Sunday, 6 March 2016

Stepping out of worthlessness

This post is more like an apology from my side due to me being so inconsistent with posting on my blog.Since a long time,more specifically since college started,I have had this feeling of being ditectionless,aimless,simply wondering and just moving alongwith the twists and turns that the days lead to.And this feeling of worthlessness has only grown in the last one month and today when I woke up,I had nothing in my mind but a question-What have I done?
And there came no answer.Reflecting on the months that have gone by,I feel this strange and heartbreaking sensatiom of having been dormant and wasted.All those things I had wanted to do,all those positions I wanted to secure for myself,each of them remain unticked on my to-do list.
The transition from a school student to a college student was supposed to be dream like.Only no one told me that dreams dont always mean a fairytale where magic would happen.This is a real world and you have to push your limits if you want your tale to be heard,your dream to be lived.Coming to college,maybe the new surge of freedom was too much for me to take and hence,I got too engrossed in roaming around the city,wasting time, that I forgot to focus on what exactly did I want.And now when I introspect,I see myself having slouched and snailed through days.The nights where I cried and succumbed to feelings of worthlessness.Times that I lived and enjoyed and then times I just tried to exist.
It is kind of emotionally weighing down to look back on the time and oppurtunities I turned myself away from or took them for granted.Also for things I loved including writing,I just was in the room next to it yet never cared to get up and open the door for me to see.
All this has set me on a low and so I decided to write and share it.I know not many of you might be following the blog but for a few who did,I have failed to live up to the expectations.And hence,from today itself I am mending my ways and gearing up for the future that I want.No more delaying and putting off work.I would be regular with my blog and all my social media and climb up the stairs where I had been stagnating.
Thank you for reading and if any of you have ever felt the same,dont hesitate to share it in the comments because we all are humans and we are in this together.
Love,
Shubhi Raj